Moving on to a more sour note…

Just when you thought you had picked the perfect jewel-embellished corset/tutu-inspired wedding dress to match your black satin/hot pink colour scheme, April Winchell from the hilarious and often R-rated site Regretsy will be stepping in to shed light on those awful wedding faux pas, and in no doubt a hilariously manner as usual. April’s comments are considered by some to be cruel, but when you view the items up for scrutiny, you’ll have to agree that the harshness is completely called for. Do these crafters and artists really think people will buy this sh*t? Oh wait – that’s right! People actually DO! (but not because they are of great technical and aesthetic quality, but because they are unbelievable pieces of sh*t and are now appealing just for this reason). April posted recently on Regretsy about her involvement with the wedding industry:

Starting next month (or as soon as I finish the book), I will be writing a column for Brides.com. Basically, I’ll be snarking on wedding trends and bad bridal fashion.

There really is a world of sh*t out there that people try to pawn off on women who are already way out of control emotionally, and totally overcome with unrealistic expectations. It’s kind of like what a funeral home does to you when you come in to bury someone, and everything seems like a justifiable expense. You only die once!

Isn’t this fantastic? A whole new world to make fun of. I can hardly wait to ruin your wedding!

Are you excited? I sure am! If you can’t hold out for April’s column, check out the following links in the meantime. I know I wasted countless hours just scrolling and laughing, and then suffering from gut ache, but it was totally worth it! Use these as a guide of what NOT to do at your wedding, and you’ll be fine: TackyWeddings.com and Esquire’s guide of inappropriate wedding attire. Just a hint: if your dress lives by the same rules as a mullet (“business in the front, party in the back”) or you in anyway resemble Christina Aguilera in the Lady Marmalade video, this is not acceptable.

{images from TackyWeddings.com}